Friday, July 10, 2009

Mom's Advice

"You should really get your stuff published. They're good." - Mom

Wow, maybe I am good. I think I finally have a fire to keep burning. I might just finish my book sooner. woo.!

Thursday, July 9, 2009


hi, im new to this place
i'll take my shoes off so i wont
walk all over it
ill take good care and make sure
that it stays in one piece
thanks for loaning me your heart
ill take care of it

i was bored lol sorry

hello, im new to this home
i thought i might stop by and help you pay rent
seems like you have cats
i love cats
maybe we can share
just like you can share your heart
if you want to, you can check my last apartments,
if you wish
all my payments were on time
it was just that they didn't like my garden
the roses were too pure and too red for them
maybe you can help me trim them
and keep them healthy
No longer are you apart of my reality.
I am the new addition to your fantasy.

Always you are not part of my reality.
Fantasy I am new to your additions.
So that means you're subtracting.
And that equals a single answer.


Definitely not the way we use green. Lol.

5. not fully developed or perfected in growth or condition; unripe; not properly aged: This peach is still green.
6. unseasoned; not dried or cured: green lumber.
7. immature in age or judgment; untrained; inexperienced: a green worker.
8. simple; unsophisticated; gullible; easily fooled.
9. fresh, recent, or new: an insult still green in his mind.
10. having a sickly appearance; pale; wan: green with fear; green with envy.
11. full of life and vigor; young: a man ripe in years but green in heart.
12. environmentally sound or beneficial: green computers.
13. [ ]
14. [.............]
Source :
My open ears & arms sometime seem to be met with nothingness.
I know we should give & expect nothing in return, but I sometimes experience a sour feeling.
I guess it can be described as me being green.

All I can do is be grateful that there is One greater than all of us whom I can give my burdens to.

Yep, I`ve gone from green to grateful in a moments notice.


Sometimes I close my arms so I can hold on to space and time. But instead all I can hug is emptiness that's supposed to be a presence. And I can't wonder when its going to be filled.

But I am grateful that I have the CHANCE to still be able to hold on to something, when there are those who only hold on to their other hand six feet under.

Yep, I`ve [also] gone from green to grateful in a moments notice.


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Somehow being tied down always adds more responsibility and another life to worry about.

Yet, not being tied down but knowing titles will come soon makes different events just that different. If you hang out with other people I've never met it scares me. I might lose you but at the same time, I can say I don't really care. I can always move on with life alone. Sometimes there is just not enough time to make up my mind.

Somehow being tied down sometimes feels as good as the heavens.

But sometimes its just something that I don't even want to go through.


When is letting go ever easy?
There are usually two ends of the process.
You`re either being let go or doing the letting.
Is it possible that they are both equally as painful as the other?
If in most cases it`s inevitable that this is the final destination, would we start relationships in the first place?

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

"Such a loving heart surrounded by a wall of hatred. Passion corrupted by anger. A gentle soul forced into a dark hole. This is what lies within." - E.

Sometimes I stop myself in the middle of life and think...
Why am I MAD?

I burn red inside like the core of the earth.
And I have a Sun that burns so my days are always bright.
And I have the Moon that keeps me company so I can write at night.
And I have the Planets that keep me in the right direction.
And I have this thing I call a Volcano when I can't take anymore of this thing I call...

I can't say it out loud or the people that are asleep will awaken and realize the true things that lie within...I'm burning...let me breath so I can get some air...Oh wait, won't that keep the fire burning...
I could give about a BAJILLION reasons why that`s ALL bad.
It`s the worst.
I think I`m getting worry warts.
This could be the end of the world as we know it.

My Phone Just DIED.


I realized why I talk a lot....because I want people to know.

To know more than they did know what I didn't so they'll be aware of life.

But in the end it ends up becoming a "fact" that I "talk too much".


Once Been Told Pt 3

Great Moment:

I was told, "I'm older than you and you've taught me something."

Today I was driving around with 'O'. After getting some food from McDonalds I decided to stop by the Gas Station across the street. I went to get something to drink (an Arizona Half & Half Palmer Ice Tea) and to get some gas. When we got there an older man was sitting by one of the pumps. He had the look as all others who are like him. "Do you have some spare change?" I could read that question in his eyes. And I thought, "sorry, I have nothing." All this happened without any words being said, yet, we both understood what the other was saying. Before I head in he yells, "I'm just trying to get something to eat." "I understand. So am I."

I walk inside and pay for the drinks and the gas. I head back to the car with O behind me. Before I start pumping the car I give the man some spare change, as though an Irony for the sense I later shared with him. Then I begin explaining "Great Moments" to O. The man is still sitting where I first met him. I finish my explanation of Great Moments to O and the man suddenly says, "Sorry, I was listening to the conversation and I'm not understanding what you mean by what you're saying." So I decide to explain Great Moments again. At first its hard to explain it to him, but in the end he understands. "So ok, for example, since you gave me some money would that be a Great Moment?" "Is that a Great Moment for you." "I don't know, is it for you?" "Yes, I like giving. I enjoy that." "Ok, that's a bad example." So he begins to try to give another example. I stop him and say, "This right here is a Great Moment." "Why?" So I explain to him that how many people can say in their life they have stopped to have a good conversation. They have paused their day to have a good conversation. He begins to understand and we converse on the importance of knowledge. We talk about being "fruitful" and not in the sense that "they're just going around having sex" but in the sense that the mind is a seed. We must plant our own knowledge in other people because if we keep it to ourselves then it is dying. So after a while O and I cease the conversation and begin to get in the car.

Before I left he yells, "This is a Great Moment."

Time. T i m e. TIME.

For all those time-haters out there,
I challenge you to imagine a world without time.

S e t.

What`d you come up with?

Once Been Told Pt. 2 - My Experience

I was told that my sister & I were gonna be STARS.
Some random lady, I dont remember but mom said so.
SO I`ll continue to take it as so.
I wonder if those talent shows we won were the extent of that "stardom", because I can`t see it from my end.
Maybe sister.

= ]

"Seems Like Streetlights Glowing Happen To Be Like Moments Passing"

It happened by accident.
Didn`t mean for it to happen.
I didn`t ask for the passion,
For the intensity when you look at me.
I don`t want it.
But I need it.
They say we get those we need not who we want,
So I guess I have to take it.
I guess I have to breathe in it,
Learn it, get comfortable.
But I`m scared.

There, I said it.

That doesn`t make it any easier though.
I don` t feel any lighter.
If anything it`s weighing me down even more.
Why did destiny have to choose me?
Let me stop fronting!
I`m glad it chose me.
Otherwise I`d be ignorant to the passion,
The intensity in your eyes.
The lack of gravity there is when I`m with you.
I wouldn`t understand the concept behind Soulmate.
You could be mine, someday.
But until then, I`ll give you time.

There, I said it.

Time to regroup and grow.
So you can be your best.
It`ll also give me time,
To accomplish what I need to.
Time is the only thing that stands between.
It occupies the space between the moment I let you go to let you grow
And the moment I can rest in our security.
You`re more than worth the wait.

There, I said it.

I`ll be waiting.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Once Been Told

I once was told my 'future' by someone that overheard my mother and I having a conversation.

Before she had left she said,
"You're either going to be in business, law or in politics.
I'll remember your face because I'll be seeing it alot."
"Have a good day," I yelled at her as she was walking away.
"Have a great life."


The more I don't think of her...the more freedom I have.

The more I think of her...the more I fall for her (again and again).


I know why I'm holding back...because I'm not ready to love her even though I'm blindly in Love with her.

I am more in Love with her than she thinks. And I don't want to admit to it because she might leave once she knows the truth.

I want to lie to her so she can stay longer but that's not the right thing to do. I'm continously building my wall and I can't stop until I begin to realize (and understand) the intensity of her Love.

We shall see...

Friday, July 3, 2009


I'm burning red the lava that lives within.....once I explode I wonder what will happen next.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

July 2, 2009

Great Moment: Brother / Sister time....Listening to Welcome to Detroit and making it better.

Too much thinking.

Sometimes I think that when she says babe, there's gonna be an end to my sidewalk....